Updated: Apr 1, 2019
So many moms and dads feel pressure just to keep up & to stay sane in the land of parenthood.
Here are some of the main responsibilities of a parent (I’m sure there are more, but this is what I thought of initially an these are not ne in any particular order):
-To make sure the child has a nice place to lay their head at night
-To feed a child (hopefully things of nutritional value)
-To make sure the child is properly clothed
-To get the child ready for school, if they’re of school age
-To pack lunches
-To get them to school (on time)
-To monitor the child’s learning progress and stay connected with their teacher
-To make sure they’re behaving properly both at home and in school
-To make sure they get home after school
-To make sure they’re doing their homework
-To make sure their child is clean/bathed/showered/washcloth wipe down (ears cleaned out, nails trimmed, too!)
-To make sure you’re spending en quality time with them (this includes praying, playing, reading)
...and I’m sure I’m missing a ton more.
This seems like so much, doesn’t it ?
It’s a full time job to be a parent, that so often we spend so much time caring for our kids that we forget to care for ourselves/develop ourselves as humans. I’m definitely not the only mama one who feels this way, so I’m sharing this to help someone else going through the same thing.
Spending time on self-care and self development is crucial, especially if we are going to be present for families.
My mother always told me that “if you’re not ready, you’re kids aren’t going to be ready, so make sure you take care of YOU first.” I think that statement is so true on so many levels, including the physical & emotional aspects of life.
If we’re not feeling 100%, I truly believe our kids suffer for that. Doing things like reading the Bible and truly meditating on His
Now, let’s move away from the kids and onto the spouse, if you have one. I don’t know about you, but as much as you may not want to, because you’re running on 2 hour sleep blocks, it’s crucial to keep your marriage intact.
I will be honest. Life ain’t always great in my marriage. We’re running a business, we’re raising a young daughter and a baby son, I’m working a full time job and he’s working at the store all day. It’s stressful, y’all!
Our time together has depleted significantly and sometimes I feel like a single parent at night because he’s working so many late nights at our store. I’ve gotten used to the PM routine of feeding the kids (and attempting to shovel some semblance of dinner in my mouth), bathing them, reading a nighttime story and praying with them, that most often, I don’t see him but once a day, as my head is on my pillow and my eyes are closed before he comes home.
I just mentioned to him the other day that it’s so hard to give any more love when so much of your heart is being given to your kids.
This is a challenge I wrestle with, so I’d hate to say I have an answer for anyone reading this as to how to combat this issue. It is something I am definitely going to have to ask the Lord for guidance.
I do know this - You must maintain a healthy level of communication about how you’re feeling, where you’re going as husband and wife and constantly validate your marital values. It’s important to let each other know your feelings not only about the things that fill you with joy, but also about things that bother you.
Communication is key, but communication that’s done in a kind fashion is better.
I We should smile more.
I vow to Complain less.
I vow to Love more fully.
Each morning, sometimes very early, I nurse the baby. I know this is a very tender time in my life. Feeding my child, in this way, seems so simple, but in all honesty, it’s rather profound.
It’s the act of sustaining life.
So, this particular morning I experienced a wonderful act of unspoken wisdom:
my little boy was saying to me,
“mommy, it’s OK ...you’re feeding me and that should be enough.
You’re doing a good job.”
We run ourselves ragged in order to keep up and the self-care seems to go by the wayside.
I guess we have to slow down and take these little moments and just savor them.
And know we’re doing just fine.